8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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