after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
