Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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