ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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