So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
