I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
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I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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