that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
