if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
