my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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