so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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