Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize