And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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