Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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