Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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