Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you had me at cake vodka
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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