you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
