Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
