Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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