Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize