i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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