Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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