he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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