I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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