i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
