Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
