Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize