How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
