I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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