please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
