How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
