And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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