hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
