why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There's even glitter on my cock...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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