Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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