I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
