did you get engaged???
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
