apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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