windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
