Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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