No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
