Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
