Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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