the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
