The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
