people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
