I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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