haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
kristin has been a bad kristin
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
