i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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