Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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