You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
