Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
