He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
