I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Girls should come with a carfax report
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
