she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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