if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
