I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
