Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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