Hey man sorry I got all grabby
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
