Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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