The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
