Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
