Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
3 2 1 whiskey
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
